


give and bake

by jenhrding



Category: Dead To Me (TV)
Genre: F/F, a lot of bad bakery puns, a sprinkle of fake dating why not, best friends owning a bakery together how gay is that, friends to lovers always in my heart, honestly its a very light read, its a bakery au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-15
Updated: 2020-10-27
Packaged: 2021-03-09 01:07:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 15,437
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27026323
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jenhrding/pseuds/jenhrding
Summary: "When she first met Jen, five years ago at a farmer’s market, the older woman was a struggling single mom of two. Judy doesn’t exactly remember why they exchanged phone numbers, but she remembers that Jen used to come back to her stand every Saturday morning, claiming that after getting to know it, Judy’s bread was the only one her oldest son liked to eat. She never thought she’d end up living with Jen and helping her raise the kids, while co-owning a bakery, but she wouldn’t trade it for a thing in the world."or jen and judy run a bakery together while trying to keep a secret their feelings for each other.
Relationships: Judy Hale/Jen Harding
Comments: 48
Kudos: 93





	1. baking care of business

**Author's Note:**

> apparently i have no life, so here's an AU where nothing really bad happens because i just want them to be happy  
> i am incredibly insecure when it comes to multi-chapters, so if you see this being deleted in the middle of the night, no you didn't  
> > technically its set in 2020 but im not about to write about covid so everything is normal  
> > rated M mostly for language and insinuations but nothing too explicit  
> > there are a lot of bad puns in chapter titles so im sorry in advance  
> hope you enjoy

Judy hears the familiar sound of the wind chimes above the door as Jen enters the bakery. It’s a sunny day of spring, and the blonde isn’t wearing her usual scowl, not fully, at least, so Judy takes that as a victory, smiling at her when she moves closer. She says ‘ _Henry really didn’t want to go, he fucking grabbed my leg and wouldn’t_ _let go_ ’ and sighs, but the brunette smiles sympathetically and squeezes her hand from across the counter, offering a ‘ _don’t worry, okay? he’ll have fun eventually’_.

When she first met Jen, five years ago at a farmer’s market, the older woman was a struggling single mom of two. Having just lost the father of her children, she was taking care of a newborn baby and a five year old. Judy doesn’t exactly remember why they exchanged phone numbers, but she remembers that Jen used to come back to her stand every Saturday morning, claiming that after getting to know it, Judy’s bread was the only one her oldest son liked to eat — it still is. She never thought she’d end up living with Jen and helping her raise the kids, but she wouldn’t trade it for a thing in the world.

They opened the bakery together when Henry was two. Judy managed to rope in many of her previous clients and it worked wonderfully for them, since Jen was desperate to leave her job in real-estate — even if it did pay a lot better — and Judy had always wanted to expand her business anyway. Her usual customers were always loyal, especially Abe, an eighty year old man who always visits the bakery on Saturday afternoons. His order is invariably the same, two blueberry bagels and Judy's famous banana bread to last, at least, a week. Every time he arrives, he greets Judy with a warm smile and asks  _ 'where is that blonde wife of yours? _ ', even if Judy corrects him every time, so he laughs and comments on how Jen looks like his daughter when she's worried.

The place always had a vintage feeling to it. It’s located in an old type of townhouse that only has two floors, so they live above the shop, and even if it wasn’t always ideal, with two growing boys, it works well now, since the kids share a bedroom and Jen and Judy share a bed. When they bought it, it was because Jen didn’t want to live in the same house she shared with her late husband anymore, and it made sense to downsize since she was changing jobs too.

Judy picked most of the decorations, even if Jen gave her input here and there, she was just happy to help Judy have her dream turn into reality. The walls are shades of light green and blue, with the counter and utensils being aqua colored, in addition to the light brown wood of the tables. The big windows make it look beautiful in a bright day, the luminosity is always welcomed, but in rainy ones, there is a cozy feeling to it, together with the ever present scent of whatever Judy is baking.

She’s suddenly pulled from her memories by Jen’s hand landing softly on her forearm. She also notices two people seated at a table in the back that she hadn’t seen come in.

“Are you okay?” The blonde asks softly. She has her hair up in a ponytail and an waist apron wrapped around herself.

“Yeah.” Judy looks up and smiles.

“Let me do that, you just go serve them, okay?” She gestures at the table before replacing Judy by the register, smiling at a couple that walks in a second later.

Judy is in the kitchen after a few minutes, preparing a lemon pie filling, and she keeps stealing glances at Jen, who is still sat by the register, adding numbers in a calculator.

Henry is in kindergarten, he always cries before going, and Jen was the one to take him and then his brother Charlie, a quiet ten year old, to school. She knows her friend hates being away from him for so long, also knows that their son wasn’t exactly thrilled to leave preschool, but there wasn’t anything they could really do to avoid it. Jen is probably worried about something she’s not even sure of, but she gets it, he’s their kid, their baby, the actual sunshine in their lives.

Charlie wasn’t too keen on calling Judy his mom at first, even if he always liked her. The thing is, he remembers his dad, had to go through losing him way too early in life, and he once mentioned that the thing which scares him the most is forgetting his father. Judy never complained, was happy about him accepting her into their lives, but when he first called her “mom”, she smiled and kissed his forehead, pulling it together before bursting into tears at night.

Henry, on the other hand, never got to meet his dad, which is a thought that makes her heart sting if she really dwells on it. She knows what it feels like to have a lot of love stored for someone you’ll never meet, she never knew her dad either, and it’s something both of them usually bond over. Due to all of that, he grew up with two moms, never had questions about them, even if Jen was very insistent on telling him about Ted and making it clear that Judy and her aren’t together — because of that one time he mentioned they were wives to his teacher, and Jen, to this day, doesn’t know where he learned that word.

So, Judy gets it, she understands the worry because she’s feeling it too. In fact, she misses having him around the store for more hours because preschool didn’t keep him there for too long. It all feels a little weird, not bad, just a tiny bit duller, somehow.

***

Jen is startled by the wind chimes announcing two men entering the bakery. She gets up and discreetly rolls her eyes when she realizes who they are. They’re not both bad, just one of them, and because it seems like they’re joined at the hip, she’d rather not have to deal with either. It’s funny because one of them lacks politeness and the other overcompensates it with too much kindness, something she doesn’t exactly adore when it doesn’t come from Judy.

“Good afternoon, what can I do for you today?” She smiles sweetly and watches as one of the men barely acknowledges her.

“I’m just gonna go talk to Judy, okay, Jen?” Steve, the asshole, asks but doesn’t wait for an answer, leaving Jen to take their order from his brother Ben.

“You’re gonna have the usual?”

“Just mine, please. He doesn’t have time to stay.” Ben smiles at her and fidgets with the phone in his hand.

“I can put it in a bag to go.” Jen shrugs and lifts the paper bag Judy had insisted on buying because it’s better for the environment.

“No, no, that’s fine. I’ll have my usual and a black coffee for him.”

“Alright. That’s nine dollars and five cents, is that all?”

“Yes.” Ben smiles at her — way too widely — and takes his wallet from his pocket. While Jen moves around to make his latte, he speaks up again. “Jen?”

“Hm?” She hums without looking up.

“I was wondering if you’d like to grab coffee some day, somewhere that’s not here. Not that your place isn’t great, it’s just that... I don’t know, it might be nice... It can be drinks too, I don’t mind.”

“Um...,-” Jen looks at Judy in the kitchen, who is, somehow, still talking to Steve, and bites the inside of her cheeks to keep her adoration for her at bay. “-that’s very sweet of you but I’m gonna have to say no, I’m sorry.” She smiles sympathetically at him and feels bad, slightly, he truly has nothing to do with his brother. “I just have a lot on my plate right now, I can’t really open myself for that.” She could’ve went with ‘ _ I like women _ ’, but that’s a bit too personal to share with Ben Wood in the middle of her bakery.

“Of course, it’s okay.” He waits awkwardly for his order now, but in Jen’s defense, he could’ve picked a better time to bring it up.

When Ben finally sits at a table, Steve leaves the doorway of the kitchen and grabs his coffee before walking out. Judy, who is now waiting for her pie to bake, comes close to Jen in a matter of seconds.

“He sure enjoys spending time with you.” Jen mutters, leaning back against the counter and wiping her hands on her apron.

“He’s charming, but nothing’s happening, he’s just too...”

“Prick-y?” She offers and watches Judy giggle.

“I guess you could say that.” Judy looks at the spot next to Jen’s head. “What about him?”

“Ben?” She nods. “Way too nice.”

“Hey! I’m too nice.” Judy complains with no real hurt.

“Yeah but I like you.” She swats Judy’s arm with a dishcloth. “He asked me out. _Super_ awkward after.” Judy chuckles again.

“Why didn’t you say yes?”

“Being a step closer to becoming a  _ mrs. Wood _ ? No, thank you.”

“Come on, it didn’t have to get  _ there _ . You could just go out, get a free meal, free wine, free fuck, then get out.” Judy winks and Jen swats her again.

“Ew, you’re ridiculous.” She laughs and scrunches up her nose.

“Are you telling me you don’t want a free fuck? And here I was, just about to offer my services.”

“Fuck off.” Jen rolls her eyes. “I don’t know, doesn’t he look like he fucks badly?”

“I don’t believe in that, you know that.” Judy earns a glare in response. “Fine, just a little bit.”

“He’s just not my type, Judy, I think we both know that.” She snickers.

“Yeah, I know your type.” Judy just winks again and Jen gives her a hidden middle finger.

***

It’s later in the afternoon when the kids’ grandmother, Lorna, arrives at the bakery with them. Jen usually picks them up at school, but the day turned out to be surprisingly full of clients, and as good as that is for the place, she still feels guilty for not picking them up.

She walks around the counter and kneels to hug them, smiling before kissing both of their faces. When she walks back, they make their way to the pantry, where Judy is putting back some ingredients. She can’t see them, but she hears their greetings and chuckles, smiles when she hears Henry go on about his day, glad that his bad mood from the morning seems to have disappeared — it’s always like this, he complains before but ends up enjoying it.

“Okay, you two go sit with your grandma and I’ll bring you something very nice to eat, alright?” Jen calls when they leave the pantry with Judy, who has picked their youngest up even if Jen always says that he’s getting too big for it. They both nod and run to the table after Henry wriggles out of Judy’s arms.

Judy watches as Jen balances three plates on her arms, two with sandwiches and one with a slice of pie, then she comes back for the lemonades and coffee. When she’s done, she kneels in front of Charlie and places a hand on his knee, he’s usually quiet, lost in his own little world, but the blonde manages to get a laugh out of him, which makes Judy smile. She sees the widest grin on Jen’s face and has to shake her head to stop staring at her family.

In all honesty, she’s glad Jen said no to Ben, and, really, she’s never ceding to Steve’s poor pickup lines or to whatever person comes in the shop and tries to flirt with her. She has everything she needs, and even if she’s a little bit in love with Jen, she can deal with it, romantic love doesn’t stand a chance when it might risk everything she already has. This love is enough for her.

  
  



	2. a batter idea

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "She does hope the cake doesn’t scream 'I’m in love with you!', but she’s not about to give up midway, and with the way it’s going — the small lumps of flour she can’t seem to get rid of and the mess on her apron —, she’s not sure if there’s even gonna be a cake in the end of it all."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> soft!jen is my favorite jen and this is very sugary

Jen doesn’t usually cook. She isn’t terrible at it, knows enough to keep her kids from starving, but Judy usually does it, she definitely enjoys it a lot more. And baking is something she knows almost nothing about.

It’s ludicrous if she really thinks about it, she owns a bakery for God’s sake, but  _ Judy _ normally takes care of the food part, together with the other woman they hired to help three times a week — Karen, this overly nice woman who even amazed Judy by the kindness she shows everyone. Jen sticks to the drinks, actually makes a mean coffee when she’s focusing, but today she’s alone in the kitchen, trying to make a cake.

It’s not even one to sell, it’s for Judy. It’s been three years since they opened the bakery and despite all of the decorations and anniversary signs around the place, she wants to make something for her friend. They’ve been friends for longer than that, but it feels like opening the place together really solidified what they have, and it doesn’t hurt to see Judy’s wide smile when she’s happy, especially when she’s the one earning it for any surprise she might throw.

She does hope the cake doesn’t scream “ _ I’m in love with you! _ ”, but she’s not about to give up midway, and with the way it’s going — the small lumps of flour she can’t seem to get rid of and the mess on her apron —, she’s not sure if there’s even gonna be a cake in the end of it all.

Her hair is up in a bun but somehow she can feel that there’s sugar in it, the counter is covered in baking powder she spilled accidentally and she’s still trying to dissolve the flour in the batter. When she hears someone walking down the stairs, she panics, until noticing that it is only Charlie with an empty glass in hand.

“Hi, honey, what are you doing up?”

“I wanted some milk.” He looks up at her, as if contemplating what to say next. “Why are you so dirty?”

“I’m making a cake.” Jen smiles and grabs his glass, moving around to get the milk.

“Why?”

“It’s a surprise for Judy.” She hands the glass back and waits.

“Great.” Charlie shrugs, his eyes almost closing sleepily. “Can I help?”

“I’m in a bit of a hurry, can you help with decorating it later?”

“Sure!”

“Go get some more sleep, okay?”

Once the boy nods and walks back upstairs, she turns back to the kitchen and attempts to finish what she started. After whisking the batter for a bit longer, things seem to get back on track, it’s now less lumpy and actually smelling kind of nice, so she moves it to a cake pan and places it in the preheated oven. When the timer is set for thirty-five minutes, she starts cleaning everything she used, doing the dishes in record time before changing her apron and putting the utensils back before Judy wakes up.

She manages to ice the cake with a simple chocolate buttercream they had stored and places it inside the fridge now, hiding it from the open eye. It’s almost eight when she finishes, so she moves upstairs to find Judy lying awake in bed.

Jen lies down next to her and throws an arm over her waist, watching her smile back sleepily and place a hand over her arm, squeezing softly. And, really, her heart nearly hurts with the feeling, the almost, the living so much like a couple but also having to keep her feelings hidden — feelings that she might blurt out unintentionally any day now. It's too risky, she knows, she should keep her distance, but it's impossible with her. Judy fascinates her, somehow. She never thought someone could captivate her this much, make her so attached so quickly. In a way, she loves it, genuinely, loves Judy's smile, the lines around her lips, the way she scrunches up her nose so adorably, and, especially, how she can make a hard day so much better only by landing her kind gaze on Jen's.

She stares a little, nearly tentatively, but gets up when she hears chatter coming from the kitchen. They have kids, hungry kids, who need food and attention and care — almost as much as she does herself.

They get to the kitchen and stand by the island both boys are sitting at.  Jen greets them with a smile and kisses her kids’ heads. It’s Saturday, so there’s no rush to get them to school, and she basks in the tranquillity of the morning. Judy finally asks why she woke up so early and she lies, says she had forgotten to pay some bills the night before and couldn’t sleep before getting those taken care of. The brunette seems to believe her and lets go, asks about the boys’ new interests instead.

They open later on Saturdays, around ten instead of their usual eight, so those mornings carry a lightness, a nice domestic feeling when all they have to do is be around each other. Jen is thankful for those, it’s good to be able to take a breath in the middle of all the week chaos — even if things are not really falling apart anymore, not after meeting Judy —, she’s glad to have a family that’s perfect in its own way.

***

At lunch time, Jen seizes the free time to decorate the cake. Judy had gone out with Henry to get them lunch, Karen is serving a few clients, and Jen and Charlie are trying to make the pink icing words look presentable.

The boy did a nice job with writing his “3rd” and is throwing edible glitter and sprinkles on top, while Jen struggles to write a full word. In the end, it definitely doesn’t look professional, but Charlie’s review of the “ _ Happy 3rd bakeryversary _ ” they managed to write is a not so enthusiastic ‘ _ well, mom, I think it tastes good _ ’, to which the blonde replies a ‘ _ I hope so, Char _ ’ with a chuckle.

When Judy and Henry get back, the cake is once again hidden in the fridge, and they quickly eat at home before moving downstairs to work. Jen takes Charlie to a play date but promises to pick him up before showing Judy the cake, and Henry is sitting next to Judy behind the counter while playing with a rubber dinosaur.

Their bakery was always cozy and domestic in a way. Having the kids grow up in it, be there sometimes while their moms work, get to know a few of their regular clients, it all gives the place a feeling of home. Jen knows she wouldn't go back to her previous job even for the money, it was too impersonal, she used to spend too much time away from her boys, and now they're always close, nothing compares to watching them grow and become the kindhearted people she always wanted them to be while still being near. They really bring joy to the bakery, as much as they try to keep things positive and upbeat on their own, kids just have a different energy, even Charlie, who is quiet most of the time — Henry really compensates for him with his never ending stories.

When Jen is back, she busies herself with taxes, not looking up even when she hears Judy say ‘ _ not my wife, Abe _ ’ to the nice man who usually comes around that time, but her mind really wanders off to Judy. It's not even an uncommon thing, she often catches herself thinking about her friend in not so platonic situations. In her defense, Judy really is something else, sometimes Jen thinks she might be an actual angel — if angels existed, of course — who showed up at the time she needed her most. The falling in love part was just an unavoidable consequence, because she tried to keep herself from falling, and once she actually thought she was succeeding, but all it takes is a look at the brunette and every certainty in her life fades away, giving way to butterflies in her stomach and a feeling so intense she's almost sure she's fainting.

There's nothing stopping her, she could walk up to Judy and just…  _ confess _ , but she's not about to do that, she's too insecure, too afraid of being rejected and ruining every flawless thing they've built together. Judy would definitely feel bad for not feeling the same way and everything would just go downhill from there, so she's keeping it safe, making sure that nothing cuts corners of the path she has so perfectly crafted over the years. All she needs is a hint, a signal that Judy feels the same way, but for now, Jen can manage it, is already dealing with it, is, for sure, not staring at Judy with too much love in her eyes, not touching the small of her back while passing near her, not giving her goodnight kisses on the forehead that  _ linger _ , just a tiny bit. She is fine.

She feels less than fine when Judy turns back with a grin to look at her too.

***

Finally, when they've closed the bakery and are making their way upstairs, Jen says she needs the boys' help with something and lets Judy go home by herself. She gets the cake and makes her way to the living room with her kids by her side, smiling as she enters and they yell a ' _ surprise! _ ' that startles Judy — Jen too, since they hadn't planned it, but she pulls it together for the moment.

The brunette gets up from the couch and walks closer to them with her mouth wide open in shock. When she reads the words Jen so carefully wrote, she laughs and, if possible, beams even harder.

"When did you make this?" She's not sure where to look, moving her gaze between her three favorite people.

"Before you woke up. Then Char helped me decorate it while you were out." Jen shrugs. "Do you like it? I know you're the baker in the family, but you deserve a present too."

"Of course I like it! I love it. Thank you." Judy's face scrunches up in a way that tells Jen she's about to cry, so the blonde places the cake on their small dinner table and opens her arms for a hug.

"It's carrot cake, by the way. I hope it tastes good." Her friend only lets out a harder sob when learning it's her favorite flavor and squeezes Jen harder.

"Okay, okay. Now you two!" She gets out of Jen's arms and hugs their kids, smiling and ruffling their hair.

Eventually, they sit down and slice the cake. Jen holds her breath, expecting it to taste terrible, but it is actually pretty good — doesn't compare to Judy's but she says ' _ I've just had more practice, Jen, this is perfect _ ', when Jen points it out. They eat happily and Judy even eats a second slice, looking over at Jen over the boys' heads and beaming, with icing on her nose — Jen ends up removing it with her finger and licking it off, it  _ is _ Judy's buttercream recipe after all.

Later, when the kids are asleep and they're in bed, Judy is still unnecessarily thanking Jen for going "all out" and baking her a cake.

"Judy, sweetheart, you don't have to keep thanking me."

“I know, but you didn’t have to do that!”

“Jude, listen.” Jen runs her right hand through brown locks and smiles softly. “I wanted to. You deserve every fucking carrot cake in the whole fucking world.  _ You _ made all of this happen, really, there’s no me without you. Not a happy me, at least. I wanted to show gratitude, that’s all.”

“Alright, thank you… But-“

“Ah, ah!” She interrupts. “No buts, let’s go to sleep.”

“Fine.” Judy pouts.

“I love you, softie.” Jen sticks out her tongue.

“Yeah, you say that.  _ You _ were the one who woke up early on a Saturday to make  _ me _ a cake. Who’s the real softie, huh?”

“Shut up and go to sleep.”

“I love you too.” Judy kisses the tip of Jen’s nose before closing her eyes.


	3. batter late than never

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "'Judy is… my wife." She says, nonchalantly, and Judy suppresses a gasp. When she turns to look at Jen, her friend looks back at her pleadingly, so she gets in on the lie.
> 
> 'That I am!' The only thing is, Judy is a terrible liar."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you were wondering if i have a life the answer is no.  
> (original female character in this cause they have no friends lmao)

One day, Judy calls Jen into the kitchen expectantly. When the blonde shows her head next to the half closed door, Judy smiles and beckons her inside, lifting a spoon with a piece of pie.

“I’m trying this new recipe for cherry pie that I found in that old suitcase from France. Remember that?”

“From the best trip of our lives? How could I forget?”

“ _ Well _ … I think it’s pretty good, but since you’re the official tester for this flavor, I thought you’d like to try some.”

“A woman after my own heart.” Jen smiles and opens her mouth a bit, leaning closer to the spoon. She locks her eyes with Judy’s, almost absentmindedly, and closes her lips, tasting the filling and crust. When the taste finds her tongue she has to fight back a moan, opening her eyes again to see Judy, who looks almost flushed and has dilated pupils, staring back at her. “This is divine.” She finally manages to say after swallowing everything.

“Really?”

“ _ God _ , it’s the best thing you’ve ever made.” Jen looks over at the barely eaten slice. “Can I have that?” She points at the plate, making Judy giggle.

“Sure, enjoy!”

“I  _ will _ , it’s a promise.”

Jen walks out and leaves Judy alone again. And it’s a bad idea for her to be left with her thoughts after  _ that _ .

In the beginning, it was easier to keep her feelings to herself, the obvious attraction was tamed by Jen’s need of a friend to help her overcome her grief. Now, though, they’re both fine, the kids are fine, the business is fine, there’s nothing else on Judy’s mind except for her family, which leaves a lot of space for pining. It’s easy to fight it when she’s cooking, or making bread, or taking care of the boys, but when her gaze lands on the blonde, everything seems to shift, it’s like there’s a magnet pulling her to Jen, where it all fades from her brain except for the way it’s screaming  _ Jennifer! _ so loud it almost gives her a headache.

Sometimes she lets herself imagine possible scenarios. In some of them, they’re happy and together, almost nothing changes, but they kiss and Jen calls her ’ _ baby _ ’ more often than not, they go out to dinner, they hold hands outside, she can tell Jen she loves her whenever she wants. In others, Jen doesn’t want her back and they continue awkwardly with their lives, her friend lets their friendship grow cold and eventually finds someone else to trust. As out of reality as it may seem, she can’t seem to not expect it, can’t seem to believe in a good turn of events.

She’s pulled out of her reverie when she hears Jen’s familiar fake-sweet voice from outside. It doesn’t sound like her usual voice for clients, so she makes her way out of the kitchen, walking closer to Jen and resting a hand on her lower back. She sees the empty plate next to Jen’s hand and finally smiles at the brunette woman across the counter, hair a little shorter than Jen’s, colored a very dark black, who is wearing a black bodycon dress.

“Judy, honey, hi!” Jen says, almost relieved. “This is Nicole.” She gestures to the woman in front of them. “We used to dance together in New York, before I moved.”

“Oh, hi! It’s so nice to meet you.” Judy would say ‘ _ Jen talks so much about you _ ’, for the sake of being nice, but she doesn’t want to lie to this woman she just met.

“You too!” She, then, suggests that they should sit, so they leave Karen by the counter, since it’s an unusually slow day, and move to a table. “So, tell me, anyone special in your life? My first wedding anniversary was just last week!”

“Congratulations!” Judy exclaims, earning a grin in return.

“I have kids, um, two boys, five and ten.” Jen offers an uncomfortable tight-lipped smile and the woman gasps.

“Are they here?”

“They’re at school.” Judy chimes in after Jen just shakes her head in silence.

“And if there are kids, is there a daddy?” Nicole teases with a smile, peaking at Jen’s left hand.

“Judy is their other mom. Their dad passed a few years ago.”

“I'm sorry to hear that." Jen waves a hand dismissively. "Oh, wait.” She holds her breath, waiting. “And Judy is your...?”

“Judy is… my wife." She says, nonchalantly, and Judy suppresses a gasp. When she turns to look at Jen, her friend looks back at her pleadingly, so she gets in on the lie.

"That I am!" The only thing is, Judy is a  _ terrible _ liar.

"How come you don't wear rings? I love to show mine off." Judy hears and forces out a nervous chuckle.

"I mean, since we're always baking it's better to keep those at home." Jen, on the other hand, has always been a great liar, it helps with the clients.

"Makes sense... Can I see pictures of the kids?" The other woman asks excitedly, and Judy takes the opportunity to breathe.

Her breath hitches again when Nicole asks who had Henry because ‘ _ he looks so much like Judy! _ ’, and her heart almost hurts.

She's currently trying to understand  _ why _ Jen would lie to someone who seems so nice. Of course, she knows that not everyone is what they seem, but it doesn't make sense that Jen would be friends with her if she was — or is — an awful person. The situation is not adding up, so she's desperate for the woman to leave, she will literally interrogate Jen on the matter.

Judy goes back to paying attention when Nicole gets up and Jen walks her to the door, she barely catches a ' _ drinks tonight? _ ' that makes her heart beat faster in apprehension. So when Jen seems to be walking back behind the counter, she almost yells her name and motions for her to sit back down. The blonde looks startled, almost apologetic, but she doesn't start speaking before Judy does.

"Care to explain?"

"I'm sorry." Jen smiles tentatively and Judy  _ attempts _ a glare.

"I'm happy to lie for you but I would've appreciated a heads up."

"Really?" She smiles again, but wishfully this time.

"I mean, yeah… but with the way you're reacting I might be having second thoughts."

"Hey, no! Listen. In that spirit, how about going out for drinks tonight with her? And maybe pretend to be my wife for a few hours..."

"Why?"

"Because I can’t go back on the lie now! Please?" Jen pleads.

"If you give me a backstory, I might consider it."

"Yeah?"

"Start talking, Jennifer." Upon hearing her full name, Jen rolls her eyes before groaning.

"Ugh, okay." Jen takes a deep breath before speaking. "We all kind of hated each other, back then, we were too competitive, but I got close to her even so. We were friends and one day I made the stupid fucking mistake of drunkenly trying to kiss her." Judy interrupts with a gasp. "Yeah, yeah, whatever. She was also drunk, and after she pushed me away, she blurted out a ' _ do you think any girl would want you? _ ', and she probably doesn't even remember it, but it stuck to me, so there's that."

"Why were you still friends after that?" Judy looks totally horrified.

"She was the only one I almost liked in the team." Jen shrugs. "I ended up fucking her in the restroom before a performance anyway." That earns Jen a loud cackle from Judy.

"That's... messy, sure, but you have nothing to prove to her, even if you had, you kind of already did.”

"I guess, but that doesn't matter, are you helping me or not?"

"This is ridiculous. You’re just… God. But sure. Although lying to your ex would not be the top choice to spend my Friday night." Judy winks.

"Don't be so jealous, darling." Jen smiles teasingly. "She's not actually my ex. But thank you."

***

Judy, then, finds herself applying makeup beside Jen in front of their bathroom mirror, rethinking all of her life choices.

The act wouldn't be so outrageous if Judy was a better liar, but Jen seems to be trusting her on this, and that makes her heart flutter stupidly with the blind faith that's shown to her.

She settles on a black dress with red flowers embroidered, and Jen wears a sheer silk blouse with tight black dress pants. So it’s fine, really. She just has to manage acting for three hours while simultaneously keeping herself from kissing Jen every three seconds. It's truly fine, not a worry in the world.

Then, she sits on their bed to take deep breaths while she hears Jen frantically ushering the kids to get ready to see their grandma; her heels click on the wooden floors and that does  _ not _ give Judy inappropriate thoughts.

They drop the boys off on the way to the bar, and the car is filled with chatter and giggles up until the moment they get out. After that, it's just nervous silence. Jen thanks Judy for doing  _ this _ again and she dismisses it, ' _ that's what friends are for, right? _ ', to which Jen answers a doubtful ‘ _...no? _ ’, but she appreciates it either way.

Nicole is already there when they arrive, waiting for them at a table in the back. Judy has to admit that the woman kind of seems to enjoy showing off, but she is rather nice. Still, with the way she talks about her own life, it makes sense that Jen would try to impress her, it’s not like Nicole isn’t also trying to impress Jen in the conversation, and Judy gets it, was always  _ trying _ , forcing herself to fit in a mold to please the mean girls at school. She understands now that they — she knows that Jen was probably one of them, maybe not a bad person, just hurt and insecure, pulling up a front — also did that between themselves, tried to compensate for their own uncertainties.

“Have you ever been to Paris?” The brunette woman asks in an excited tone.

“Yeah, we went three years ago, for my 35th birthday.” Jen answers, offers Judy a soft smile.

“My husband is taking me for our anniversary, like a second honeymoon? I’m so excited, what is it like?”

“It’s really beautiful…” Jen stays silent, watches as Judy speaks happily about their trip, the first time she’s showing interest to the conversation.

“Oh, actually, I never asked, when did you two get married?” Jen hears and places a hand on Judy’s thigh to keep her from answering.

“Four years ago.” She smiles, feels her heart hurt a little with the lie that she so wishes was true.

“Was it love at first sight?” Jen stops herself from rolling her eyes because: a) that’s not a thing, and b) it definitely was — but the whole losing the father of your children deal took a huge toll on her feelings.

“Pretty much, yeah.” Judy says softly, looks at Jen with a different sparkle in her eyes. Jen looks back and can’t seem to stop, to tear her gaze away. If she looks down to Judy’s lips for a second, that’s just a happy accident.

“Aw, you do look so in love!” Jen chokes slightly before looking at her old friend, averting her eyes from Judy because that would mean something, to agree, to say ' _yes, I'm in love with her but she's not with me so can we just move on?'._ “You know, we all always knew you wouldn’t last with that old boyfriend of yours.”

“Excuse me?” She chuckles, only because it’s really not a big deal.

“Well, it was always so clear that you didn’t like men.” Jen widens her eyes a bit, changes subjects.

“Okay, let’s go dance, alright?” She gets up, pulls on Judy’s hand, who just shakes her head. “Jude, come on.”

“No! No, are you insane? I’m not gonna go dancing in front of you two! I’m not drunk enough for that.” She says, after checking that Nicole can’t hear them anymore.

“Honey, it’s nothing, let’s have fun, okay?” Jen gasps as the next song starts. “It’s our favorite! Please?”

“Sorry, it’s still a no.” It’s hard to  _ not _ kiss Jen’s pout away. “We’ll dance at home, I promise. Go have fun, I’ll be watching.”

“Fine.” Jen frowns slightly, leans down and kisses her forehead quickly. "For appearances." She whispers before walking away to meet the other brunette, and  Judy's breath catches in her throat more than she would like to admit.

Another bad idea? Watching Jen dance with another woman.

She’s glad that Jen isn’t paying close attention, so she bites on her straw as she watches her friend’s hips sway to the rhythm. They’re too close, she notices. Their backs turned to each other’s but still, it’s something, shows intimacy, like they’ve been sharing it for a while now. It’s not that it hurts to see Jen dance to  _ their song _ with someone else, it’s just a little bit sickening — as if that isn't the same thing —, fills her with more jealousy than she can probably take.

It also doesn’t hurt that Jen is so incredibly hot. It’s really hard to keep her eyes away, even with the burning envy, her movements are too enthralling, capture Judy’s eyes with an impressive ease. When Jen bites her lip with a devious smile, Judy is too far gone to not rub her thighs together, not exactly relishing in the ache between them.

It’s then that Jen decides to look back at her.

She’s still close to Nicole, but they’re facing each other now. Jen’s right hand guiding the woman’s hip while she laughs openly at something — Judy wishes the music wasn’t so loud so she could hear her. But it’s when Judy goes back to biting her straw, when her eyes are fixated on Jen’s haunch moving, when her face shows so clearly what she wants. Then, it’s when Jen looks.

At first she doesn’t notice it, so she can’t even pretend that she wasn’t openly gawking. When she looks up, the knowing smirk Jen offers her almost makes her lose her balance. She gets up and walks to the restroom, tiptoeing the lines of embarrassment. After she debates throwing water on her face and decides against it — it would ruin her makeup —, she sees the door open through the mirror and a disheveled Jen walk inside. Her friend leans back against the door and says ‘ _ meet me outside, we’re going home _ ’.

***

The bakery is dark when they arrive and there’s still a hint of cinnamon in the air from the rolls Judy made that morning — it’s funny that they don’t have a regular specials menu, Judy just makes whatever pastry she feels like each day, sometimes a new recipe she found on Pinterest, sometimes something she knows by heart, sometimes one that reminds Jen of her childhood.

She makes her way to the stairs when she hears Jen locking the front door, but before she can take a step further, the blonde is asking her to wait.

There’s an odd feeling in the atmosphere. They don’t usually stay downstairs after they close, the lack of lighting makes the place look different, almost dreamy. Jen doesn’t bother to turn on the lights and walks closer, a contemplating look on her face. She’s weighing options, Judy can tell, and she’s hoping her friend doesn’t notice the way a blush has started to show up on her neck, how it's now moving up to her face.

Jen takes her phone out of her purse and Judy hears a song start to play. The blonde smirks at her and says ‘ _ you promised _ ’, while starting to move her feet to the beat. When the first verse starts, she gives in and walks up to Jen, who beams and grabs her hand. By the chorus, they’re laughing and Jen whips her hair from side to side a few times, before bumping her hip onto Judy’s.

When the song finally ends, they’re breathless and smiling, so Judy pulls her friend to grab water from behind the counter. Jen waits until she’s done drinking hers to walk closer, almost dangerously close.

"I always liked brunettes, you know?" She cocks her head to the left and takes an almost visible breath. When Judy doesn't answer, she continues. “Jude.”

“Hm?” She asks when Jen places her arms on either side of her body, trapping her against the counter. It’s not an exaggeration to say her body is completely still. She gulps, then, can't help it.

“We are  _ so _ stupid. Do you know that?” Jen says, suppressing a smile.

“What?” Judy frowns and her wide eyes make Jen chuckle.

“I love you.” She states, simply.

“I love you too, I mean, you’re my best friend and-“ She can’t finish her sentence because Jen interrupts her with a sigh.

“God, Judy, you’re a piece of work.”

Then, Jen’s lips are on hers, feeling like every single one of her favorite dreams. And she has imagined this countless times, how Jen would grab her waist, how she would tangle her fingers in blonde hair and not let go for a thing in the world, how soft Jen’s lips would be, if she would taste like cherry, alcohol or the cigarettes she sneaks out to smoke sometimes — when she has to deal with a especially difficult client, or when her own insecurities get the best of her even in the middle of the day. Still, no thought or preparation could have anticipated what perfection feels like. And not in the denotative meaning of the word, because Judy takes a while to catch up and for the first few seconds Jen gets mostly teeth, but in the sense of being everything she has waited for, everything she loves about Jen translated into action, and even if it’s not the slowest, not the cleanest — they’ve never been everyone else's' definition of flawless anyway — it’s  _ them _ , and that means it’s perfect.

After they take a breath and Jen comes closer to kiss her again, slower, more controlled, her hand softly caressing Judy’s cheek, it all tastes a lot like hope.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i couldn't pick a song for them so y'all can imagine any lol


	4. don’t go baking my heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “'Invite me to the wedding.' He grabs his bag after paying and leaves, not before winking at her and waving Jen goodbye.
> 
> It makes her wonder if having a wife would be so bad."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> time skip in the middle because i only have five chapters to work with (yes it was my choice but whatever)  
> aNOTHER bad pun alert for the ending of this chapter because in my mind they're just ridiculous like that  
> hope you enjoy

Jen wakes up to the sound of Judy’s alarm. Despite her happiness to wake up with no clothes on beside Judy, she can’t help but let out a groan at the sound — it’s way too fucking early for a Saturday.

The brunette stirs and flutters her eyes open, smiling softly at Jen, who just opens one eye and frowns at the luminosity before closing it again, which makes Judy giggle and she smiles because of it. The hand she places on her face makes her open her eyes fully, and she relishes in the view of Judy, naked and glowing under the morning sun.

She’s not sure what to do next. Yes, they’ve been sleeping in the same bed since they moved, but  _ as friends _ . They’re not doing anything as friends anymore — certainly, the way she had three fingers inside Judy the night before wasn’t exactly  _ platonic _ . And she has been married before, knows how dating works, but she doesn’t want to fuck anything up this time. This is Judy, her best friend, the other mother of her kids, she absolutely  _ cannot _ fuck this up by being herself.

Surely, the way Judy is smiling at her makes everything seem easier, makes her feel like she’s enough.

“You’re thinking.” Judy mentions simply.

“I am.”

“Are you regretting?” Her voice is small, but her hand hasn’t moved away from Jen’s face.

“What? No! Of course not.” She exclaims, kisses Judy for the first time in the light of day, just to make her point clear and, honestly, because she can. “I’ve been waiting for this for years.” Judy just grins, relieved.

“Okay, good. I just worry when you start thinking.” She jokes and Jen chuckles.

“Yeah, my brain is a whole different type of black hole.”

“I love your brain.”

“Thank you.” She smiles, purses her lips a second later. “But you’re only saying that ’cause you’re in love with me.”

“In love I am, but I also mean it.” And she rolls her eyes, poking Jen’s cheek.

“I believe you.” She winks. “Come on, let’s pick up the kids, since we’re up anyway.” Then, she sticks her tongue out in mockery.

***

They sit the boys on the living room couch. Charlie leans back against the cushions and waits in silence, Henry kicks his legs and says he wants to go play with the new puzzle Lorna got him. Jen asks, as patiently as she can manage, for him to wait a little longer because they have news to tell.

She doesn’t know how they’ll react, how they’ll understand it or if it even means anything to them, but since she used to make it so painfully clear that she was _not_ dating Judy, she feels like she needs to tell them. At least Charlie will understand it better, she hopes, it’s not like she has had to go through this before.

“So, boys, we just wanted to let you know that your mom and I are together. For real this time.” She offers, slowly.

“And nothing will change, really! There’s just enough love for you two. We just needed to tell you.” Judy helps nervously.

“Cool.” Their oldest says, as if he couldn’t care less, but he smiles a bit, maybe knowing that his moms need reassurance — or knowing as much as he can in the ten year old brain of his.

“Aren’t you married?”

“Henry, sweetie, we’ve gone over this three hundred times before. Judy and I are not married. Not yet, at least.” She sees Judy turn to her abruptly from the corner of her eye, but chooses to ignore it.

“So, what does it mean that you’re together?” He cocks his head to the side, in such a Judy manner it scares her.

“I didn’t explain that well, did I?” She mutters.

“It means that your mom is my girlfriend. And I’m hers.” Judy says, saving Jen from her own words.

“Alright, then. Can I go now?”

“Sure.” Jen watches him run down the hallway. “Let your brother help!” She yells and turns to Judy when they’re both gone. “Am I terrible at this?”

“At what? Being a mom?” Jen nods. “You’re a great mom. Kids will believe what they want, it’s not your fault.” She kisses Jen’s nose with a smile.

It's good that they don't think anything of it. Really, it takes a huge weight from her shoulders, but she thinks about what that means if they, God forbid, ever break up. The thing is, she has a tendency for pessimism, always had it, since she was a kid — which is worrying, considering how childhood is usually a time for joy and hope, but learning that your mother has cancer at the age of nine really sucked some of the light out of her. And, if she's being honest, she still doesn't think she's completely worthy of Judy. Her Judy, who is a personification of sunshine and positivity, who saves snails from the side of the road and helps old ladies cross the street; the Judy who is her complete opposite, totally regardful of other people's feelings and caring beyond herself, who loves Jen despite her flaws, despite everything she hates about her own mind and body.

***

Abe comes for his usual visit. He arrives at the same time, it’s still sunny outside but the main star isn’t shining so brightly anymore, it’s not as hot as earlier in the day.

Before both women spot him entering, Jen has her arms wrapped around Judy’s waist while standing behind her, she whispers in her ear, makes her giggle, before kissing her neck and untangling, walking to the pantry.

Judy looks up when the wind chimes resound through the bakery, beaming when she sees who it is. He smiles back at her and she starts grabbing the items from his typical order while they make small talk.

Jen comes out of the pantry and sees them laughing, she greets him with a grin and removes her apron, asks ‘ _ do you need anything, babe? I’m gonna check on the kids _ ’. And when Judy says no, she walks away and sits at the table the boys are playing around.

“Not your wife, huh?” Abe asks in a teasing tone, but there’s no bite to it.

“I promise I haven’t been lying to you.” Judy places his items in a paper bag. “We  _ just _ got together so, still, not my wife.” She chuckles.

“Invite me to the wedding.” He grabs his bag after paying and leaves, not before winking at her and waving Jen goodbye.

It makes her wonder if having a wife would be so bad.

***

Judy barely realizes that seven months have gone by until it’s Thanksgiving week. They had a great summer, even if they didn’t travel anywhere, they spent the boys’ break finding fun things to do around Laguna — Henry and Charlie were particularly invested in an arcade they found, and Jen didn’t even complain about going there too much —, with occasional trips to the beach or neighboring towns.

The beginning of fall brought back to school shopping and new first days, together with a change in the bakery menu, adding pumpkin to almost everything. Speaking of which, everything is now decorated in a fall theme, and Halloween was really the most fun the boys had together, since Henry is a bit older now, understands it a bit better.

Now, on the Tuesday before Thanksgiving, Judy is inside a jewelry store, debating on which ring to buy.

It was in impulsive decision, truly. Everyone around them kept talking about marriage and she realized that she really wants that, wants it almost as much as she wants Jen herself — but, of course, only with her. So, she woke up this morning and went, told Jen she was going to get apples for a pie and made a beeline to the store.

She keeps looking at rings she likes, but has to keep reminding herself that she’s buying one for  _ Jen _ . So, she asks for help and takes a while to decide — she has taken one of Jen’s other rings with her so she’ll have the correct size.

Judy chooses a rose gold one with a salt and pepper hexagon diamond. It has a second thin band, adorned with small stones, and it sparkles beautifully under the lights. Then, she adds two bracelets to her purchase. They are simple ones, thin and discreet, but she wanted to engrave something inside them, since the ring is too narrow for that.

Her heart beats a little faster while she walks to the grocery store for the apples, but all of the nerves are gone now, all of the doubts seemed to have disappeared the moment she bought the ring, probably because of the confirmation that she is certain that this is what she wants. She wants Jen, and the kids, and their family, for the rest of her life.

***

On Thanksgiving, they arrange the tables to make a longer one. They’ve invited Lorna, Karen — because she has just gone through a divorce and Judy felt bad for her —, one of Judy’s old friends from the farmer’s market — Nick, who brings a very lovely girlfriend —, and Chris, who used to work with Jen — they couldn’t separate after she quit her job, he’s one of the few people she likes. And the dinner was great, they’re sure there will be leftovers for at least a week.

When it’s dessert time, Judy brings an apple pie to the table, and a separate slice of cherry pie for Jen, who smiles thankfully and kisses her cheek. She waits, then. Watches closely as Jen digs in, now thinking that placing the ring inside the filling was a terrible idea, even if there’s no going back now.

The second Jen frowns, Judy holds her breath.

“Jude, didn’t I tell you to take your rings off before baking?” She pulls the engagement ring from her mouth and stares at it. “I seriously could’ve choked and- wait. Is this new?” Jen looks at her with a puzzled expression, everyone else seems to have gone silent — if she really analyzes it, it's because everyone has figured it out before Jen has.

“It didn’t fall, Jen. I put it there.”

“Why would you-“ She widens her eyes in realization. “Holy shit, Judy.”

Suddenly, Jen gets up and runs upstairs, still with the ring in hand. Judy barely has time to run after her, because the moment she realizes what is happening and gets up, the blonde is coming back, carrying something else.

Jen gets closer and laughs at her startled expression, says ‘ _ I’m sorry if I scared you _ ’, and opens a red velvet box, showing another ring, this one also rose gold, inlaid with eight marquise-cut diamonds, forming a flower, and two other stones on either side of the band. It’s thin and lovely and probably the most beautiful thing Judy has ever seen.

Her eyes well up with tears before she gets a word out.

“ _ Jen _ .” She gasps.

“Judy.” Jen chuckles.

“There is no way.”

“There is, Jude. I didn't know when to ask but...” Judy finally looks up, sees Jen beam back at her. “Come on, are you placing it on my finger or not?” She laughs tearfully.

Judy gathers her thoughts and takes the ring from Jen’s hand, cleaning it with a napkin and sliding it around her finger a second later. Jen takes Judy’s hoop from the box and does the same, leaving the box somewhere and grabbing her face to kiss her soundly.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.” Jen answers softly, and they suddenly feel two pairs of thin arms wrapping around their legs and waist. The sudden movement makes them laugh before crouching down to hug their kids.

“Wait! They don’t even match.” The brunette frowns when she stands back up and pouts.

“Honey, do we?” She smiles, squeezes Judy again and kisses her forehead, before turning to their friends.

***

Later, when they’re lying in bed, basking in each other’s warmth, Jen enlaces their fingers together and brings their joined hands to her lips, kissing them sweetly. Judy opens her eyes abruptly.

“Wait. I got you something else. Well, us, I guess.” She gets up and takes another velvet box from her bag.

“You didn’t have to.” Jen sits up against the headboard.

“I wanted to.” Judy smiles and sits. “I wanted to engrave something.” She opens the box and Jen takes out one of the bracelets. “You said that to me when we first opened the bakery.” The blonde reads the words and laughs loudly.

“I remember.”

* * *

_ 2017. _

_ “Jen, but what if everything goes wrong?” Judy asked nervously, bringing her fingers to her lips again. _

_ “Nothing is going wrong. And stop biting your nails.” Jen grabbed her hands and pulled them away with her free hand. Her other arm holding Henry, leaning his weight on her hip. “You need to calm down.” _

_ “Jen! I can’t!” Judy widened her eyes. “This is my dream. Our dream. We’ve been waiting for this for months.” She lifted her left leg when she felt something bump against it, Charlie moved his plastic car under it. _

_ “Okay, Judy, come on.” Jen waved her arm and held her friend by the shoulders, squeezing tightly and kissing her temple. “Just breathe and enjoy.” _

_ A few of their friends were gathered outside, waiting for them to unlock the doors. The commotion intrigued people passing by, who stopped to see what was happening and ended up staying to wait too. Judy kept glancing at her watch every few seconds, waiting for the last minute to pass before finally opening the doors to the public. _

_ When it was time, she grabbed Charlie’s hand and took a hitched breath. Jen was standing behind the counter, still with Henry on her hip and grinning at her. Once her hand touched the key, she stared back at Jen, who nodded and said ‘go on, just remember I’m saving all my loaf for you’ with a wink. Judy giggled and finally unlocked the doors, taking her first full breath of the day. _

* * *

“So, what do you think?”

“They’re beautiful. I do  _ loaf _ you.” Jen smiles and reads the ‘ _ all my loaf _ ’ once again, chuckling softly while shaking her head.

“Thank you. For everything.”

“You don’t have to thank me, Jude.” She puts the bracelet on her arm and takes the other one, doing the same with Judy’s.

“But I’m grateful for you, the boys, everything. I needed you, I think.”

“You…  _ kneaded _ me?” Jen winks.

“You’re terrible with puns.” Judy laughs.

“Hey, if I’m making you laugh, I say I’m good enough.”

“I fucking love you.” She shakes her head and leans towards Jen for a kiss.

“I fucking love you too.”


	5. in the sweet of the night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “'I can’t wait to be married to you.' Jen smiles and takes a small piece.
> 
> 'Me neither.' Judy smiles, eating the rest of the fruit — and she has to admit, they do taste pretty good.
> 
> 'We haven’t even planned anything, maybe we should just fucking elope.' She jokes with a chuckle, but Judy turns serious."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello,,  
> i'm sorry for taking so long, i couldn't finish this for anything in the world, but this one is longer than the others so i hope that compensates for it  
> i had to use harding as jen's last name because we don't have her maiden one so i hope we can all ignore that lol  
> i hope you enjoy this ending

“Jude, shh.” Jen places a hand over Judy’s mouth as she whispers. “Our walls are paper thin.”

“I know, I’m sorry, sorry.” She mumbles in the best way she can. Jen moves back to kissing her neck in the way she was before, adding soft bites and pressure on well known spots. When she curls her fingers, her other hand has to press harder on her mouth, the brunette keeps getting louder and she’s now more worried about waking up the kids than making Judy come.

“Jesus, Judy.” Jen widens her eyes in warning while Judy rolls hers back. “Maybe we should’ve stayed in that other house.” She chuckles and works faster, determined to get her to finish before Judy wakes up the boys.

“ _Fuck_.” Judy finally whispers, after her body relaxes again.

“Merry Christmas.” Jen gives her a peck and lies next to her, sucking on her own fingers carelessly.

“Ugh, don’t remind me.” She closes her eyes and pulls the covers up.

“Why not?”

“Having sex on Jesus Christ’s birthday? That _has_ to be some sort of sin. We’re not even married yet.

“Oh, God.” Jen laughs. “Take it as my present to you. I’ll even find a Santa costume if it makes you feel better.”

“Fuck off.” She pushes Jen’s face away softly. “Did you eat half of the cookies?”

“Half?” The blonde asks carefully.

“Yes, _half_ , Jen. Santa doesn’t have time to eat all of them.”

“You might have to make more cookies then.”

“Jen!”

“What? Maybe Santa was really hungry. I know I was.” She smiles and kisses Judy’s cheek, trying to get rid of the familiar pout she sees on her lips. “Sorry.”

“Go put clothes on and give me mine. Or would you also like to traumatize our kids on Christmas morning?”

“I wouldn’t say traumatize, maybe just scar them for life.”

Sure enough, the moment Jen gets back in bed, now clothed, is the moment the boys choose to come barging in their room. Judy gives her an “I told you so” look.

Charlie sits up against the headboard and Henry snuggles up to Judy, they’re both in matching Christmas pajamas, white with cartoon reindeers. Their oldest asks to bake cookies, while their youngest wants to open presents, and the room is suddenly filled with loud laughter and high pitched voices, talking, joking, loving.

Judy takes the boys to make cookies while Jen calls Lorna so she can take them to see their dad’s family the next day. She asks Charlie to mix the dry ingredients — flour, baking powder and salt —, as she mixes the wet with Henry — butter and sugar whisked together, eggs and vanilla extract. Quickly, the kitchen smells like sugar and something that Jen associates with home. She sits at the counter to watch her family work.

The boys let Judy mix everything together by herself because the dough is getting a little more consistent and she divides it for them to cut. When it’s time to cut the shapes, they choose their favorites and place them on a tray. While the cookies are chilling in the fridge, they run to the living room to open presents.

Both women sit on the ground with the kids, leaning their backs against the couch. Jen watches closely, Charlie has the most adorable surprised face, is in complete wonder of the LEGO truck he just got, excited to put it together and play with the augmented reality on his mom’s phone. Henry is amazed by the robot dinosaur he got, which is half his height, and the temple that came with it.

Judy helps them set their toys up and Jen can’t keep her eyes away from her. She was always mesmerized by Judy’s relationship with the kids, since the beginning, it was so easy for her to take care of them, in a way that just came naturally to her, and Jen is glad that she was the one to give her the opportunity to be a mother — even if she doesn’t doubt that Judy has been taking care of people for way longer than that. She probably has a stupid grin on her face, but there’s no way to stop it, she’s just filled with so much love, to the level where she feels like it might overflow someday.

After the boys put their presents in their room — there are other ones because their moms couldn’t resist —, they all sit down on the couch to play Mario Kart. Charlie sits next to Jen, squeezed against the arm of the couch, and Henry on Judy’s lap, they’re separated in teams, so they’ll take turns to give their teams a fair chance, since Henry mostly just smashes the buttons and calls it a day. And yes, they might be deeply in love, about to be married, but they’re also competitive, and they both want to _win_.

Maybe playing Mario Kart on Christmas can’t exactly be considered a classic tradition, but it’s perfect for them, all they need is to spend time together, really.

They’re competing for first place, both doing surprisingly well, since they usually stay back in fifth, but Jen has advantage, since Charlie is completely still, enthralled by the game, and Henry keeps jumping nervously on Judy’s lap, making it hard for her to see the screen.

Everything is a mess of loud chatter, the kids laugh when one of them says something along the lines of ‘ _I’ll destroy you_ ’, and both boys are excitedly rooting for their own team, encouraging their moms to work harder and win the game. Judy finds it hilarious when Jen stops herself from cussing in the middle of the word, almost doubling over in laughter, making the boy on her lap complain because she’s not paying enough attention.

In the end, Jen wins, and Judy finishes in third place.

They leave the boys to their own game and get up to put the cookies in the oven.

“You suck!” The blonde laughs when they’re in the kitchen. Judy gasps.

“Well I’m sorry if your ‘ _shi-_ ‘ and ‘ _fu-_ ‘ distracted me.” She singsongs.

“It was all a strategy from the beginning.”

“You are so smart.” Judy winks after closing the oven.

“That I am. So smart that I arranged with Lorna to take the boys so we can have tomorrow to ourselves.”

“Really?” She asks, feigning impressiveness only because she already knew Jen was about to do that.

“Really.” Jen steps closer, wrapping her arms around Judy’s waist. She brings her mouth near her fiancée’s ear. “Then you can be as loud as you want.” She squeezes one last time and kisses her cheek before walking back to the living room.

***

Around seven, Judy opens the door to their bathroom to find Jen drinking wine in the bathtub.

“What are you doing?” She asks after closing the door.

“Hiding.”

“Lorna just got here.”

“Exactly.” Jen raises her glass and smiles.

“Aren’t you gonna say goodbye to them?”

“I already did. Now are you gonna join me or not?”

“She wants to wish you a Merry Christmas.”

“She can call, Judy.”

“She’s got presents.”

“Really?” Her eyes light up in a manner that makes her look like a child.

“Really.” Judy chuckles. “Come on.”

She goes back to the living room and sits between the kids on the couch. waiting for Jen, who quickly comes out in a robe to find them huddled up. They’re both ready in adorable Christmas sweaters and she notices the bags that Lorna is carrying.

“Jennifer, I _know_ that you weren’t in there to avoid me.” The redhead says sarcastically.

“I’m glad you do.” Jen smiles and turns to the boys. “Are you ready to leave?” They both nod and get up, hugging Judy and then Jen.

“Here. These are from me to you both, I hope you enjoy it.” Judy thinks she might be smiling on the inside.

“Thank you!” The younger woman exclaims, getting up to grab a box. “We bought this for you. Well, Jen chose it, so I hope you like it.” She grins. “Let me know if you do!”

“Will do. Thank you.” Lorna, in a much less excited tone, says, then encourages the boys to go with her to the door.

“Merry Christmas!” Jen feigns enthusiasm. “Are you joining me now? Grab a glass.” It’s her final sentence after they leave, already heading to the bathroom.

Jen stares at her, lovingly, intently. She has a soft smile on her lips, which she inefficiently tries to hide with her wine glass, her mouth already reddened by the liquid. Judy cocks her head to the side in curiosity, letting her gaze run all over Jen’s face and whatever body part she can see above the water. It’s funny, she thinks, how even eight months into their relationship everything still feels new, somehow — it doesn’t matter that she feels like she has known Jen for a lifetime. There’s that ever present rush every time she looks at Jen, that need to calm her heart by kissing her, touching her in any way she can.

And, God, how she loves touching Jen. Loves feeling her warm skin underneath her fingertips, loves knowing the way she can provoke goosebumps all over her body, loves, almost above all else, what her touch can do, the way it makes Jen raise her hips — nearly religiously —, shiver, let out silent screams into Judy’s own mouth, beam to the ceiling while pulling her impossibly closer. She wants to feel that all the time, for the rest of her life, that pride, that flutter in her heart when she realizes, once again, that _she_ is the one making Jen feel good, _she_ is the one making her come undone.

“What are you thinking?” She asks, because she knows Jen, knows that she’s wondering about something when she’s staring like this.

“I just can’t believe I get to marry you.” And Judy, honest to God, almost melts right then and there.

“Same here.”

“I think you’re too good to me.” Jen purses her lips, contemplating. “But I’m trying.”

“You’re enough. I hope you know that.”

“Sometimes it slips my mind.”

“It shouldn’t.”

“We didn’t even open Lorna’s presents.” She deflects, just like every other time things get too vulnerable — she’s trying, but she isn’t perfect.

“We had better things to do.”

“We still do.” She stretches her arm, then, flexing her hand, indicating for Judy to grab it. She does, almost immediately.

“You know, remember when we went for drinks? That night I kissed you?”

“How could I forget?” Judy smiles widely as Jen pulls her to sit closer, in between her legs and leaning back against her.

“I never told you this, but as I was dancing, all I could think about was that I wanted to take your hand. I didn’t care for the dancing or my friend or whatever else, I just wanted to hold your hand.” She sighs. “I still do. All the time.” Another sigh comes, this one exasperated. “Is that stupid? I don’t fucking know how to do this.”

“It's not, and I think you do.” Judy turns her face slightly, just enough to kiss her softly on the lips. “Come on, let’s get out.”

“Why?”

“That sweet talk got to me, _Jennifer_ , and I would like to fuck you properly, if you don’t mind.” She jokes, thinks Jen might appreciate a change in atmosphere.

“Oh, I don’t mind at all.”

***

It’s almost six, she thinks, but she can’t see the clock properly from where she’s lying down. She turns her head to the left and watches as Jen laughs breathlessly, the gracious upturn of her nose scrunching up, the pretty lines next to her lips, the ones next to her eyes, all intensifying to let happiness wash over her. She is beautifully bathed by the golden glow of sunrise, the slight blue color of her eyes mixing with the yellow and turning into the green that feels too much. Judy smiles. Jen turns to her in a second, grabs her hand and kisses the inside of her palm, letting out another chuckle after taking a look out the window.

“Why are you laughing?” The brunette asks, almost giving in and giggling too.

“The sun is fucking rising. We had sex all night and I didn’t even notice the time go by.” She looks back at Judy. “I’m almost forty, for fuck’s sake.”

“Well, I guess not watching the time go by _was_ the intention.” Judy nods to herself. “But about the age part, I don’t know if your back will like us doing it on the floor in the future.”

“We have a perfectly good bed, why don’t we use it?”

“The floor is more fun. We’re in the living room and there’s a fireplace here!” She says, with that adorable Judy smile that never fails to bring one out of Jen.

“Why do we even have that? We live in California.” Jen rolls her eyes.

“It’s pretty.” Judy states. “Are you hungry? I bought those big strawberries you like.”

“I thought you hated them? I’m sure you said something about them having too much pesticide.” She gets up despite Jen’s comment, heads for the fridge and comes back in a blink, lying back on top of the comforter they laid on the wood floor.

“I still do. But you love them, so I make an exception.” Then, she takes one from the plate — the pretty one that she painted red flowers on — and raises it for Jen to bite.

“I can’t wait to be married to you.” Jen smiles and takes a small piece.

“Me neither.” Judy smiles, eating the rest of the fruit — and she has to admit, they do taste pretty good.

“We haven’t even planned anything, maybe we should just fucking elope.” She jokes with a chuckle, but Judy turns serious.

”Okay.” She nods.

“What?” The blonde widens her eyes.

“Let’s do it.”

“Seriously?” Jen smiles, delightfully shocked.

“Yeah.”

“Okay.” Her eyes are still wide open, but she nods certainly. “Today?”

“Why not?”

“I love you.” Judy forgets all about the genetically modified strawberries when Jen pushes the plate away, moving closer to kiss her eagerly.

Two hours later, Jen is putting on her clothes while Judy is sitting on their bed, talking on the phone.

The thing is, even for an elopement, they need a witness, and Jen really doesn’t want to ask Lorna for that — even if she knows that she almost loves her despite everything. So, Judy is on the phone with Abe, hoping he’ll do it for them. Jen listens as she’s getting her earrings on, ‘ _Jen and I decided to get married… Yeah, right now. Well, in a couple of hours, I guess… We were wondering if you would be our witness… Really? Oh my God, thank you, Abe!... Yeah, at ten, City Hall… Thank you so much!_ ’, and she giggles a bit at Judy’s enthusiasm.

When she hangs up, she gets up and finishes zipping up her dress. Jen turns to her and, even now, after all these years, she still feels the same when looking at Judy. The same fast heartbeat, the same gasp, the same love overflowing, because the brunette has a light pink dress on, with white flowers, and it’s one she has seen before, but she has never seen it on, and combined with the thought that _this is her fucking wedding dress_ , Jen can’t help but feel like she might cry — well, _ew_.

She chose a white pantsuit, because Judy asked, and, honestly, there’s nothing she wouldn’t do to see her smile. And she loves the way her eyes light up when she looks at Jen, loves how she walks closer and wraps her arms around her waist, inside of her blazer, feeling the silk of her thin strap blouse under her fingers.

“You look amazing, baby.” She whispers, placing a kiss on her neck, almost touching her ear.

“Thank you.” Judy beams — she likes how any compliment Jen throws her way, which happens every day, makes her feel dizzy with tenderness. “You do too.” Jen leans in for a kiss but Judy stops her. “No, no. Not until we’re married.”

“What?”

“You heard me.”

“Judy, just an hour ago you had your head up my-“ The brunette covers her lips with her hand, suppressing a giggle.

“Shh, don’t be disrespectful.”

“I hate you.” She shakes her head jokingly.

“Too bad you’ll get stuck with me in two hours. There’s still time to give up.” And, see, it’s a joke. It _really_ is. But Judy is not the most confident person in the world. Too many people have left her, too many people have gotten tired of her being too much — too clingy, too needy, too attached —, and she’s scared, it’s her nature, she can’t help it, she needs the reassurance more than she needs to keep going.

“There’s nothing else I want more than getting stuck with you.” Jen kisses the corner of her mouth and she sighs, relieved.

***

They drive to a gas station first because Judy forgot to fill the tank the last time she used the car and whatever they have left won’t take them far enough to City Hall.

Jen is in the convenience store while Judy gets gas, asking Karen, over the phone, to open the bakery and take care of it for a few hours because they had an unexpected change of plans, and then she sees it, Ring Pops. And then she’s thinking _why not?_ , is paying for them without even realizing and it’s stupid, really, because this isn’t an elementary school wedding, they probably won’t even have time for vows, but she thinks of Judy. Judy, in her pretty pink dress; Judy, who probably didn’t have a school wedding, who didn’t have anyone to trade ring pops with, and her heart stings in that so familiar way, in that _how I wish I could’ve met you sooner_ way. So, in a blink, she’s out of the store, stuffing lollipops in her bag, smiling when she sees that Judy is already grinning at her, waiting for her — just like every other time.

Luckily, no one wants to get married a day after Christmas, so they don’t really have to wait a lot. And Abe is there, looking so nice in his fancy shirt that Judy almost cries because she has _people_ now. Because after meeting Jen everything seemed to settle in place. She has people she can call who will be there for her, people who won’t abandon her in a car at eleven pm and not come back for two days, people who won’t give up on her after the first sign of instability, people who care, who love her for who she is.

Jen squeezes her hand and she knows she’s worth it, somehow.

Their names are called and Jen’s heart beats a little faster with the knowledge that this is _really_ happening. She’s getting to marry the woman who she has pined over for years, who is her best friend and her soulmate and her family all in one, who looks at her and makes her understand that _this_ is what love is supposed to feel like. It’s not supposed to be hard — of course they have difficult days, but there’s a difference between letting those tear your relationship apart and using them to grow as a couple —, it’s not necessarily supposed to be burning all the time, all intensity and redness. It can be calm too, they can bask in the tranquility of easy mornings with soft and slow kisses, of early evenings with the kids laughter filling the room, of serving clients while simultaneously watching Judy bake so happily in the kitchen. She doesn’t have to be hurting and giving blood, sweat and tears to someone who is with her just for the sake of not being alone; she can be loved easily, can be kissed on the stretch marks on her lower belly — the ones that mean so much to Charlie and Henry even if they don’t know it —, can be taken care of when she’s having a hard day because of no particular reason, can have her hair brushed and her makeup removed by someone who doesn’t mind doing it when she’s too tired to do it herself.

She is truly loved now, and that is completely enough.

The celebrant asks for their I.D. and Judy feels like she’s moving on autopilot, only grounded by Jen’s hand resting on her lower back. He starts talking, ‘ _we’re here today to participate in a marital union…_ ’, and she takes the opportunity to steal a glance at Jen, who’s attentively listening to the man in front of them, all slow breaths and small creases near her brow.

“I am duly authorised to solemnise marriages according to law. And since it is your intention to enter into marriage, join hands and repeat after me.” Judy snaps back into the atmosphere and does as she’s told, catching Jen’s eyes and offering her a smile. “I, Judy Ann Hale…”

“I, Judy Ann Hale…” She listens intently as he speaks. “...call upon these persons here present, to witness that I, do take thee, Jennifer Harding, to be my lawfully wedded wife... for better or for worse, in good times or bad, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health... to love, honour, and cherish, 'til death do us part.” And Jen says the exact same words when it’s her turn.

“Do you have rings you would like to exchange?”

“No, we didn’t have time for that.” Jen explains and the Officiant says he’ll move through that part.

“Okay, you two sign these, and you, sir, sign here.” He points at three lines on different papers and waits until all of them do as told. “By these acts, according to the laws of the state of California, I hereby pronounce you married. Congratulations.”

They shake hands as the women thank him, and they leave so quickly Judy barely registers it, only comes back to her body as Abe hugs her and then Jen, congratulating them and saying that he wants to be the first name on the list when they finally decide to celebrate with everyone else.

After he goes on his way, takes a cab back to his house because it’s still almost Christmas, Judy looks at Jen and then back at the building behind them, in complete awe that they really just did _that_.

“Okay, what are you doing now?” Jen jokes, adjusts the engagement ring on her finger and looks up, green eyes sparkling under the ever present December sun.

“Why, do you have something in mind?” She walks closer, wraps her arms around Jen’s neck, gives her a kiss — finally — and sighs contentedly.

“I guess I do.”

Jen drives them to the beach. It’s almost empty, as if winter even means anything, and they sit in silence for a while. Judy’s head lays on Jen’s shoulder as they watch the waves crash before them.

“Do you wanna exchange our engagement rings? Just for the symbolism.” Judy asks, and Jen is glad she’s bought those ring pops, because of course Judy would want something representative, she would want to exchange vows, and if she hadn’t been the one to suggest eloping, Jen might’ve thought this wasn’t what she wanted after all.

“I bought you something.” She reaches inside her purse and takes the rings out. Judy laughs loudly and kisses her cheek. “We can buy proper rings later but for now,-“ She pops the plastic packet open. “-I thought you might like a grape flavored one.”

“I love it, thank you.” Judy reaches for the candy but Jen stops her when she’s about to put one on her finger.

“Let’s do vows, come on.” Jen turns to her and raises her brows expectantly.

“I don’t have anything prepared.”

“Aren’t you all about speaking from the heart, Jude?” She teases. “I’ll go first, you can just copy me if you want to.”

“Okay.” She almost whispers, but her eyes are shining and she’s smiling widely.

“Okay.” Jen takes a breath. “I’ve been in love with you for a long time, Judy.” She chuckles softly. “Sometimes I still think I don’t deserve you, but if you’re still here today, then I must be doing something right. You’re, like, my total opposite and I’m so glad that you put up with my shit even so. I promise you that I will never, _ever_ , take you for granted or leave you because I can’t live without you. It’s just unthinkable.” She kisses Judy’s nose quickly. “I love you more than wine. And more than that special cherry pie you make me, too.”

The wind picks up a bit, then, while she slides the plastic ring on Judy’s finger. She laughs and her brown hair sways a little, making her jaw and neck more visible. Jen is glad that she can openly stare now, especially since Judy brings the lollipop to her mouth for a taste and kisses Jen a second later, saying ‘ _just wanted you to try this flavor_ ’ after they break apart.

Judy shivers a little, and her thin dress doesn’t provide much warmth, so before she can protest, Jen is taking off her blazer and draping it over her shoulders, adding a quick rub of her arms for extra help. The day is not cold, but the insistent breeze provokes goosebumps. Despite that, the sun is quite nicely shining on them, and Jen loves the view of Judy bathed in sunlight: the way her brown eyes get a little hazel, how her hair looks even shinier in broad daylight, and especially how her skin glows beautifully, invitingly.

“Jen, I... I never thought I’d be lucky enough to get here with you someday, but you just make everything easy, I don’t know what I would do without you. I’m just so happy you exist, and so glad that Charlie fell in love with my recipe among all others.” Judy giggles with nostalgia and Jen’s heart does something like a leap. “I promise that I’ll try to be worthy of you every day, and that I’ll be here, in the hard days and in the good ones, because you, Jen, are my best friend, and I love you more than you could ever begin to imagine.” She puts the candy on Jen’s finger and smiles before the blonde brings it to her lips. 

“Mine is better than yours.”

“I doubt it.” Judy sticks her tongue out in a childlike manner, then, she pulls Jen’s finger close to her to try it. “Absolutely not.”

“Cherry is always better, you’re just tasteless.” She teases before smirking. “Wanna mix?” Her eyebrow is raised comically, which makes Judy laugh, but she leans in anyway.

Jen never thought she could enjoy making out so much before she first kissed Judy. It was always something she wanted to do but ended up being too preoccupied with removing clothes and getting _more_. And, sure, she wants Judy like no one else in her life, but, somehow, she’s just as content when they’re kissing without worry, just paying attention to each other’s tastes and enjoying the softness of it. Judy sighs into their kiss and it’s such an adorable sound that Jen can't help but smile, which makes her wife complain with a groan and pull her closer by the neck.

***

Lorna takes the boys home and Judy works hard not to let anything about the wedding slip. They had agreed that they would tell the kids on the same day, but only when they get to be alone with them, and only tell everyone else later, when they feel like it's time or when they might want to throw another celebration.

They both greet them with warm hugs and Henry pounces on Jen so she can pick him up, she rolls her eyes but doesn’t deny it, and groans with the initial force. She mutters a ‘ _God, you’re tall_ ’ and there’s a little sting in her heart that comes with the thought that her kids are growing up too fast. Judy seems to sense it and squeezes her arm softly, offering a comforting smile and kissing the boy’s cheek. Then, Charlie tugs on her hand and she’s roped into a conversation about a future museum trip with his school.

Jen disappears upstairs for a few minutes while Judy is making muffins in the kitchen. She took the boys with her so Judy figures she’s helping them shower or change and doesn’t think too much of it. When they come downstairs in different clothes, her hypothesis is confirmed, but Jen is walking behind them with an uncertain smile.

She tells the boys to sit at a table and enters the kitchen, closing the door behind her.

“What is happening?” Judy asks with a smirk.

“I have something for you.”

“Are we about to fuck right now? ‘Cause I have to prepare.”

“What?! God, Judy, no. The kids are right outside!” Jen laughs. “Wait- you have to prepare?”

“I mean, if we were, I’d have to prepare to keep my mouth shut.”

“Oh, _that_ … right.” The blonde looks away with a face that tells Judy she’s _thinking_.

“Jen?”

“Oh, yeah.” She shakes her head and the brunette suppresses a giggle. “That’s not what I’m here for.” Jen walks closer and moves her left hand from behind her back, placing an open velvet box on the counter. “These were my parents’ rings, and I know that they might not have been the most perfect couple, but I thought we could use them until we get ours.”

“Oh, I love that, thank you.” Judy smiles and takes the box in her hands. “Wait, these are their initials, right?” She points at the engraving.

“Yeah.” Jen nods.

“God, I didn’t even realize their initials were also J and J.”

“Weird, right?” The older woman scrunches up her nose.

“Or meant to be.”

“I think I’ll stick to weird, honey. And a bit gross too since they named their kid with a J name as well.” Judy just shrugs.

“Thank you.” And then, kisses her sweetly.

“Of course.” Jen smiles and sighs. “Let me put that in the oven for you, Abe should be here any minute now.”

“Okay, thanks.” She puts the ring on her own finger and winks. “Put your ring on.”

Judy kisses her again before making her way out of the kitchen. Abe is already waiting by the counter when she gets there, smiling warmly at her and looking sneakily over to the kitchen, peaking through the half open door.

“So, where’s the wife?” He asks after Judy starts grabbing the pastries from his order. She bites on the insides of her cheeks before looking up at him — and realizes that she’s getting that habit from Jen.

“She’s in the kitchen, Abe.”

“Not gonna correct me this time?” The man smiles teasingly and she chuckles.

“Well…” Judy lifts her hand that displays the ring and finishes with his order, handing it to him with a grin that hasn’t left her face since the morning.

“I’m not gonna say I told you because you already know I did.”

“I know.” She laughs and hears as Jen comes out of the kitchen.

“Hi, Abe.” The blonde greets him and rests her right hand on Judy’s lower back. “Here’s the timer, twenty minutes left.” She places the mechanical timer on the counter and Judy smiles thankfully.

“Jen.” Abe smiles at her. “Have a wonderful day.” He grabs his bag after paying and waves them goodbye.

“So, _wife_ , hear me out: you, me, and that expensive wine we like tonight to celebrate?” Jen asks while wrapping her arms around Judy’s waist.

“When you make such a good case, how can I deny it?”

“I’m gonna go out and buy it, then.” She steps away, removing her apron and releasing her hair from the ponytail.

“You offered without having it?” Judy snickers.

“Kind of.” Jen feigns a grimace. “But I’ll be back so quickly you won’t even notice I’m gone.” She pecks Judy’s lips before making her way out.

“Doubt it!”

***

After the kids have been put to bed, they move to the living room. Jen pours the wine into their glasses and sits down with a huff, while putting her hair up in a bun.

“Fuck, I’m exhausted.”

“Yeah, it’s the old age.” Judy teases and Jen gasps.

“Fuck you! Let me remind you that you’re only _two_ years younger than me.”

“Sure, but you don’t see me complaining about my back every day, do you?” The brunette leans back against the wall with a smirk.

“I have the right to, I was a dancer.” She pouts with a frown.

“Sorry.” Judy purses her lips sympathetically — but still ironically — and begins to walk slowly towards Jen. “So, about that fuck me part, can we go back to that?” She straddles her wife on the couch and kisses her neck softly.

“I thought I was too old for you.”

“I’ve always liked older women.”

“Shut up.” Jen swiftly pushes her so she’s lying on her back and the blonde is on top.

“Wow, Jen, I didn’t think you had it in you.”

“Funny.” She narrows her eyes and bites Judy’s shoulder over the oversized shirt that’s borrowed from Jen. Her right leg settles in between Judy's, and the plan _was_ to keep going and then move to the bedroom — where the door locks —, but then she hears rain. “Look!” She hears a disapproving groan when she gets up and walks to their small, french-style balcony.

“Since when is the rain more interesting than me?” It’s Judy’s turn to pout, then.

“It’s not.” Jen looks back at her quickly, but leans against the railing anyway. “But it hasn’t rained in a while. The wind today was probably an indication.” Judy gets up and stands beside her, careful not to let water get into her glass.

“The moon looks beautiful.” She looks up and stretches her neck a little. “It’s weird that we can still see it, even with all the dark clouds.”

“Yeah…” Judy turns to the side to find out that Jen is staring at her, biting the insides of her cheeks in that familiar way.

“What?”

“You’re just so pretty.” Judy blushes slightly at the compliment. The sky is not completely dark, even with the rain, the moon insists on peaking through the gray clouds and its reflection shines a cold toned white light behind the brunette’s head. Jen thinks she looks angelic, in a way. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” She stands on her tiptoes and wraps her arms around Jen’s neck before kissing her soundly. When she pulls away, she sighs dreamily. “So, what are you doing for the rest of your life?”

  
Jen rolls her eyes and pulls her close by the waist. Her lips touch Judy's firmly before their tongues meet in a kiss that sounds a lot like the answer is ‘ _loving you_ ’.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you've reached the end, thank you so so much for reading and diving in this mess with me  
> an even bigger thank you if you took the time to comment, i really appreciate those <3


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